not okay

i am not okay. just not okay at all.

i’ve been in a hole. a deep, deep, dark one. i am so hurt and lost and angry. i’m scared. i’m anxious and i’m having trouble getting out of bed. i’ve been moving only when my kids are around. drinking, crying, staring, sleeping. it’s just about all i can manage.

against everyone’s advice, i made a fake instagram account to follow the girlfriend. she’s happy. she’s so fucking happy. they’ve created a custody schedule for the kids so that every other weekend they can be together. and i just let them. we’re married and i let him be with her. i make it easy for him. and i protect him. all so he won’t get angry with me and leave me with nothing.

but god…i just want them to burn.

i am not okay. just not okay at all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s