this week has been all about the money. he wants my “number.” what’s it gonna take, rachel? how much do you want?

i wish there was a number that would fix all this. a pile of cash that would end the worry. a dollar amount that would stop the hurt.

how about 15? that’s the number of years we were married.

2. the number of children we had.

10 years we’ve lived in this house.

22 years since i met you.

4 grandparents.

5 trips to italy.

21 birthday parties.

8 pillows on our bed.

1 for each laugh we shared? or each lie you told?

there’s no number that will fix this, darling. they’re all too small.