life rafts

this week, y’all. this week. never before have i dealt with such gross, disgusting, skanky drama. i was unprepared for the pounding that was coming. wave after wave from a giant emotional hurricane nearly drown me.

eventually, i will write about it. and about the incessant screaming thoughts that loop on repeat in my head. but today, i want to write about the life rafts that saved me. carried me.

first, there was my mama. she came running when i called and couldn’t even get words out between wailing sobs. she spent an hour just laying on the floor sobbing with me. she fed my children and my dogs. listened while i said the same things over and over and over again. she poured the wine, she tucked me in, she made the calls, she carried me.

second, my girlfriends. i swear, they never leave me alone. they call and i don’t pick up so they just come over. they get mad as hell at him and they take my kids to the trampoline park, and they bring me flowers and more wine. the memes. my god, the memes. i’ve laughed so hard this week. tears and laughter. we had a huge storm last night and the power was off in my neighborhood. so they loaded us up and took us to the little mexican dive around the corner. 9 kids, 5 adults, chips, salsa and beer. i needed it. they carried me.

third, my work. i’m planning a party and up to my eyeballs in driftwood sailboat crafts. my fingers are blistered but it keeps them occupied. my mom and all my friends have come this week and tied and hot glued and drilled holes and laughed and cussed and it kept me going. it carried me.

fourth, my kids. i can fall apart behind closed doors, but eventually i have to dry it up and be there for those boys. it’s summer and we have to go and see and do. i’ve been teaching my oldest how to grill and my youngest how to chop and peel. there were hamburgers and hotdogs and sliced kiwi and avocados. they help with the dishes after dinner. we crank up the tunes and dance around the kitchen. they filled me with life this week. they carried me.

this has been the lowest of the low. but i’ve never felt so loved and supported. my life rafts. carrying me safely through this storm.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s