it’s out. the people have been told. family. kids. friends. pastor.
we are getting a divorce.
i obviously thought a LOT about the kids. how to tell them. how to make this easier. how to protect them. i read and i listened to tons of advice. it was hard. it was awful. but then they got up and they’ve pretty much been fine ever since. their therapist says they’re doing amazing. no trauma. no fears. we talk openly all the time and we’re killing ourselves to make the transition as normal as possible. basically, their lives haven’t really changed. mom and dad are still friends and we have zero conflict anywhere near them.
so…the kids are great. it’s the rest of the people that are going crazy.
i was completely unprepared for the shitshow that would follow. everyone has an opinion. everyone. whether i ask for it or not…they give it. and they give it hard.
it’s like the divorce is happening to them. it’s all about THEM. how this hurts THEM and affects THEM and confuses THEM. i can’t even count the conversations i’ve endured where my friends, my family, my people selfishly guilt and shame me for ending my marriage. it’s…so fucked up.
i’ve been called a LIAR.
i was told “you can’t get off the ride you bought a ticket for.”
counseling. counseling. counseling. counseling. counseling.
the worst part is that i am a liar. so so few of them know the truth. it doesn’t matter anyway. they don’t really WANT to know. they want to judge. i’m finding that they are only capable of seeing it through the lens of their own situations and experiences. they know their marriage.
they don’t know shit about mine.